Saturday, March 30, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The nightstand
The judge: Where do you
have all that money from?
The defendant: From the
nightstand.
J: But who puts it there?
D: My wife.
J: And who gives it to
your wife?
D: I do.
J: And where do you get
it from?
D: I’ve told you
already, from the nightstand.
The old Jack
Q: I’m a virgin and I would
like to start my sex life. I’m scared. I need an advice, please.
A:
Jack Daniel's Old Time, Old No. 7 Quality Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey. But you
can just ask for Jack.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Accidental bonding
A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."
The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."
The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Perfect life
A man, complaining:
- I had everything! A big house, an expensive
car, the love of a beautiful woman and then… everything vanished!
- What happened?
- My wife found out…
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
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